She adds: "If he wants to date you, he's going to want to date you no matter how you act, no matter what you say. Tinx first shared her "box theory" on social media in 2021, based on a series of "misadventures" and time spent "chasing male validation" in her 20s.Īs she describes it, the theory is that "when a guy meets a girl in a romantic setting − so like a dating app date or a blind date or something − he will put her into one of three boxes: He wants to date her, he wants to sleep with her or he wants nothing to do with her." "I feel so lucky every day that I get to connect with these amazing women and girls who trust me enough to ask me these questions." What is box theory? "I feel so lucky that people trust me with their problems," she tells USA TODAY. Tinx views that role as "a massive privilege." Some viewers online have likened her a virtual "big sister," offering advice on love and life. The majority of her videos are shot casually, lying in bed or standing in her kitchen, holding a tiny lavalier microphone as she shares personal anecdotes and life advice. If you feel like you want to wait, then wait, but you shouldn't withhold (sex) to try and manipulate your way to dating someone." Who is Tinx?īorn Christina Najjar, the 32-year-old influencer known online as Tinx boasts 1.5 million TikTok followers. In short, Tinx advises those dating around to "act how you want in the moment: If you feel like sleeping with someone, you should sleep with them. "My main message comes down to self-worth and prioritizing your own happiness, so if that's something you think you'd like more of in your life, you are welcome here," she writes. While the book's target audience is women and the dating tips offered are geared toward women who date men (Tinx writes in the book that she is "staying in my extremely straight lane and writing what I know"), much of the advice remains helpful regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. "The Shift: Change Your Perspective, Not Yourself" at for $26."The Shift: Change Your Perspective, Not Yourself" at Amazon for $24.Meet Tinx, the TikTok influencer who has set out to solve for this predicament in her new book, "The Shift: Change Your Perspective, Not Yourself." She hopes her "box theory" and other dating advice can help "rebrand" dating from "just a means to an end" to "an era of self-discovery." Purchases you make through our links may earn us and our publishing partners a commission. Single people are often left wondering when they should have sex with a new partner for the first time, fearing sleeping together too soon will brand them as a one-night stand but waiting too long could make the other person lose interest. Read on to find 10 incredible stories of people's first time performing oral sex.Watch Video: Four ways to up your dating game from Bumble's relationship expert They range from hilarious to cringe-worthy, but the common thread is that everyone is in this together. "If you feel good about yourself and your body, you can enjoy everything that's happening to you."Īnother way to feel better (and to realize that no one’s first time is perfect) is to read oral sex stories from other people. "Tell yourself how hot you are and strong you are," Engle suggested. "Our internal dialogues have a huge impact on our mental states," Gigi Engle, sex coach, sexologist, and author of All The F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life, previously told Elite Daily. It helps to hype yourself up with positive self-talk beforehand. “Hand jobs may feel less intimidating to you, and they can help you get used to playing with a penis,” she says - or a vagina, or any other sex organ you’re planning to give oral to. “Practice breathing in and out of your nose, and try to get yourself to relax … The idea is just to get used to having something in your mouth.” You can also use your hands to help you get the other person off. “At first, practice simply holding the object in your mouth,” she says. Marin suggests practicing on a sex toy to ease your nerves if you’re really getting in your head. Once you’ve checked in with yourself, you can start preparing for your first time giving oral sex. So, your first step is making sure you’re ready and enthusiastic about taking this step. “You get to decide which specific sexual acts you do and don’t want to participate in,” sex therapist Vanessa Marin previously told Bustle. The key is making sure you’ve both given consent, you’re excited, and that you trust the person you’re about to go down on. When the time and place is right, oral sex can also be extremely satisfying, either as foreplay or as the main event. This sex act can be nervewracking the first few times you try it, and that’s totally OK. There’s a first time for everything - including oral sex.
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